Foreshadowing? In all of the above moments? I cannot stop asking myself this….
It has been three years since I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. In the beginning, people and articles said, “Things would make more sense soon.” This filled me with more anxiety. What “things”? When was “soon”? It seemed to be a riddled threat, one I could not figure out… until now. I realize I was looking at it all wrong. The articles and people meant things — the ticking time bomb — had already gone off and that I would get answers as to why soon, now.
This year marks a decade of me standing by my team. And that’s pretty special, pretty huge for me. But it’s not just me standing by the Red Sox; my team has stood by me. In each game of those ten years, they’ve made me want to gain more baseball knowledge than the previous year. It’s here the Red Sox taught me the most important lesson, too: Baseball is a symbol, standing for something larger. Baseball is not “just a sport.” Baseball is life.
It’s strange because sometimes when I talk about MS in person, I feel furthest from people. Yet, here — with the light of my computer screen — I feel like I have someone with me. I’m not judged. I’m not told I’m wrong or right… or how I should act or what to think. I’m not told anything. I’m just given a space. A space to think. And I believe when one can delve into their own thoughts — be allowed to fully think — that person is never alone.
Our wedding was beautiful. I don’t know how else to describe it. Okay, maybe I do. Romantic, gorgeous, magical. Intimate. So very special. Beautiful. It was all so beautiful.